I am sad, from my sadness only ilusions and memories pour. My spirit goes lighter and fades away but does not abandon me, I feel as light as a ghost.

Air, space, nothing, me.

I perceive the world as tremendously big and I feel very small, so very small that I'm invisible. The warmth of my heart is not enough. What is a single tear shed in the ocean?

A heart that beats hard, shaking hands, unstopable legs: Anxiety.

Only the ever compasionate Universe comforts me and I pray. I repeat and repeat the mantra that appeases me; however my body fights violently: I cannot breath and I only want to die. Rapidly or slowly I just want to die now. The clamour of a diying son is heard by the Father and chaos gives up little by little and I can breath again, the steed pulled by my heart slows down, then the calm is back. Serenity.
What is beauty if it's untouchable?
The deepest despair comes from a love that is bulky and unwanted.

Like a cannonball falls into the very bottom of the sea, like the biggest and most shiny of the diamonds falls into the depths, an unwanted heart hits the ground as well.

Now I am floating among the vacuity with a stronger need of closing my eyes; I can only feel my own tears gathering under a mask that covers my real face wich is made of glass.
The deadline is today and the doors are open for darkness to enter; with it, more questions arrive. I opened my eyes and I saw nothing, there was no one, I stretched out my arms and I could feel only  air. The darkness was so severe that I couldn´t see my own arms in front of me, I tried to touch my face but I found nothing: I emptied myself away.

The city's lights shine like stars in the firmament, I see everything backwards because I am upside down floating in the clouds. People in the streets are like angels and trees like clouds;  I see the infinite behind me as the mother earth where we all come from and where I am heading to; as a matter of fact is calling me now: comming for me tonight, is the very encounter with the all absolute itself.

 

NeneLove