Everyday I wake up at 5:00 am to get to work, it means I must go to bed at a decent hours, wich I barely do. Last night, for instance, I went to sleep after midnight.
I remember vaguely that I get up rapidly; showered, put my clothes on, I ordered my papers, check the money and ID's. I have all calculated for 30 mins. 38 mins. tops. That morning before leaving the appartment I wanted to check if I was on time, almost at the door I took my movil, I pressed the green call button and * at the same time and I saw the time: 3:31 am I nervously smiled and said to myself -so weird, the time on my phone changed-.
I leant out of the window and I found a very quiet and lonely avenue; I checked the time again: 3:32 am my heart jumped - this can't be happening- I said to myself- I left my suitcase almost at the door, I ran to the appartment's phone and dialed 030 to verify the exact time; the machine corroborated my fears 3:33 am How was that even possible? What happened? I immediately hung up and ran to my bedroom, I jumped to bed trying to use the little time left before 5:00 am, I even left my boots and tie on, I just wanted to left myself go, just wanted to sleep and take the most of the time left.
I tried to sleep, but many questions were shaking my mind and stressing me; I was trying to remember, and now I recall a very imprtant detail; I actually never heard any alarm clock. Why did I wake up? I took my phone and check the settings of the clock, it was set at 05:00 am, it was not a configuration mistake. I can't really place what I was thinking when I decided to actually get up, I just remember when I was already in the bathroom... I never saw the time; I just jumped off the bed in a semi unconcious state. 10 mins. later I got back to sleep.
The alarm clock rang punctually at 05:00 am. I felt really tired, my eyes were burning and I could barely string together my thoughts; I washed my face. I was feeling like if the first time I got up, I'd had lived a terrible day that was at that the time, lost from my memories, like if I couldn't remember anything, but it was indeed feeling terribly heavy on my eyelids.
I still do not understand how's that I woke up at an exact hour, 03:00 am, why did I get up without any alarm? without watching the time? I feel that my nervous system is teetering, I find myself hanging by a thread. There's no doubt, I need to get my Tranxilium again.
NeneLove
